Drama (kinda old)

First of all, Im not gonna mention who's this about, do not send me messages asking. I know the girl who's that about drops my @ but I don't want any more drama, I just wanna show my side to people she told bad things about me. 

Theres this girl that used to be my best friend but we split ways around 4 months ago. I haven't talked anything about it publically but she has, apparently dropping my name to anyone who asked for it and I feel it's so unfair how she portrays me as a villain behind my back to my moots and followers. 

I moved to Japan and had to build my life from zero and our friendship was only online so I didn't have as much time to spend with her and our groupchat but I still tried to while also focusing on my new friends in Japan. Unfortunally around the same time she got diagnosed with an illness, it's not a terminal disease but it is something she has to change her lifestyle for. I felt bad for her and expressed my condolences but I didn't have much time to call and spend time as we used to due to my new work and time zone difference that was almost exactly opposite. 

Then I posted stories with my friends from Japan and she started ghosting me. She would avoid talking with me while messaging on our groupchat but when I confronted her she assured me its fine. I thought maybe she's going through a hard time with her personal life and needs space so I respected that and thought she will reach out to me when she feels comfortable.

Apparently that's what made her upset. After around a month (?) of ghosting me and posting shady things hinted to be about me for no reason, and me asking our mutual friend if she's okay and is she mad at me for something that she doesn't talk to me (the answer was "no, she just has personal issues") she unfollowed me and removed as follower and when I asked why did she do that she answered that I only care about myself. I was confused as fuck. Later she explained that I don't have time for her or our groupchat and I only care about my new friends in Japan, calling them slurs and insulting their appearance because I posted a drawing of my friend but I didnt draw her or other members of the groupchat recently.

*side note, I did draw us just 2 weeks before that and sent her?

Which, the whole situation is INSANELY immature. But anyways I explained to her that I know shes having a hard time but a lot has changed in my life too and it's simply hard for me to find the right time but I will try harder and i offered to call her at the day she has time which for me was 5am.

So the day to call has come and the same day I posted a photo with my IRL friend that the girl was insulting before. (Reminder, they never talked, she didn't do anything except being my new friend). Sooo I waited until 5am, I had job at the morning but then when I wanted to call her, I noticed Im blocked, lol.

I went on our groupchat's profile and noticed she removed her highlight and posts so naturally I understood she quits and no longer wants to be my friend and so I removed her from the groupchat. 

She clearly doesn't wanna be my friend anymore and cut me off so I accepted that and decided to end it from my side too.

Then it all broke loose. She got mad how dare I remove her, she can talk to whoever she wants but I said it's weird she blocked the leader and 1 of 4 members total and she's been treating me like shit, ghosting me just cuz I happen to have other friends too, calling them slurs, calling me a self observed narcissist because I think she couldn't stand the fact that while she had a horrible time I was meeting new friends and made a boyfriend.

But the thing is:

I DON'T HAVE TO SUFFER WITH YOU TO SUPPORT YOU.

Multiple times I told her I'm here for her whenever I can, even if I have other friends IRL now she is still my #1 bestie and she can talk to me and I will listen but I think seeing me post stories of my new life in Japan was feeling unfair and disingenuous to her.

Anyways after that she just sent me 1 message to fuck me and my "ugly friends" and posted stories about a "fake friend" and betrayal, started telling MY moots and followers spilling my name about how narcissistic I am and even TELLING TOTAL STRANGERS ABOUT MY SEXUAL LIFE ??? One girl DMed me that shes going crazy and dms people details about my sex life under "I was just worried about her safety" disguise. It was insane. I felt so angry everytime someone DMed me she said smth wild about me to them but I didn't talk about it outside my private friends and moved on but now, I just feel like it's unfair that she spreads stuff about me. I don't want any conflict or contact with her, I just wanna vent, this blog is kind of like a journal to me, I just rarely post on public.

In the groupchat we had, there was me, her, and 2 mutual friends, X and Y. At the time she started ghosting me, her and X got really close, posting about being besties etc so I felt relieved she is not alone and maybe X is able to understand and give her support I can't and she'll reach out when she's better. Apparently the entire time, she was telling X about her real feelings towards me, being upset I don't reach out and care enough when she doesn't respond and everything that bothered her about me which I had no clue of. Me on the other hand was telling Y that I'm worried she's mad at me for something because she's ghosting me but says everything is okay. 

At the end X stood on the other girl's side because she believes the diagnosis and hard private situations partially excuse the irracional behaviour, while me and Y believe there's no excuse to treating your friend badly, ever. If that happens, u should just apologize and not do it again.

And that split the ways between us. X wanted to hear my side too but we couldn't catch up and I believed since she was with the girl knowing her feelings towards me live, it will be hard to see my pov, I hope this post will help her see it. I also felt like X was lowkey blaming me for moving on too easily and fast hinting that my friendship wasn't deep, which hurt me because it's not true, I just have this mechanism where I really try to isolate myself from people that hurt me. I also felt kind of accused from the girl itself that I cut her off so easily. After she blocked me? 😭

I honestly don't hold anything towards the girl anymore, Im just sad it ended this way cause she was the best friend I had and I wish she didn't see me as bad as she potrays me now back when we were friends.

I just hope people whom she told bad things about me see the full picture.

*idk why she often mentions I messed up the calling day, I just said I cant talk long cuz I have work at Sunday and have a busy schedule but I stayed up at Saturday, when the drama happened

 I just got my first paycheck as an English teacher and ??? 20% tax for people who stay less than 1 year...? If I stayed in Japan 1 day longer I'd pay only 10%...insane 😡

Wakayama

Me and my boyfriend Rentaro went on a trip to Wakayama last Wednesday and it was sooo awesome~♡

I just chopped my hair off......mental breakdance

It's been a few years and this message lives in my head rent free. This is my Roman Empire. 

Sometimes I wonder, do all men deep down wanna get down on Jotaro?

My bf took fire pics of me by my digicam but he has no SD card slot in his laptop and I have to wait until Saturday to move them!!! Just buy a shittier laptop dude...

Japan

Hey! As most of you know, I moved to Osaka, Japan exactly 2 weeks ago. I figured out it would be cool to share my experience here.

I never actually explained why I moved here when I don't know Japanese and don't have much interest in anime, you probably think it's for fashion and shopping then, which is true now LOL I got an opportunity, and when I heard about it, of course I took it and started preparing visa documents because Osaka sounds way cooler than spending another year in Frydek Mistek xD 

A month before moving, when I came back to Poland from Korea I started being hesistated due to my personal life getting veeeeeery complicated and me having a very bad episode. That's why I was also not posting anything, sorry. I'm a person to take every opportunity to make my life interesting because I don't want to ever regret not doing something in the future so I immidiately said 'yes' to the moving and was quick to process visa and stuff. But, the month before moving, when everything went down so suddenly I was really close to abandoning my plans and starting over in Warsaw. 

I can't even read hirigana and I know I'm too lazy to learn Japanese, I've never been there before, it's such a different culture and I have only 1 person I can count on in Osaka so I became really hesistant, like the reality of what a crazy move it is finally hit me. I always have this mentality where I'm convinced everything's gonna be okay so I'm not scared to take risks, but honestly, I think that time might just be one of the lowest moments of my life and I totally lost this conviction. I met old and new friends there and had so many social outings which felt amazing after isolating myself in Czech for 2 years, so I kinda wanted to stay and find a job & apartament. 

Buuuuut what changed my mind (except my life turning a bit better) was that...my visa was expiring at 11th Nov and if I don't enter and waste it, I won't be able to get a visa anywhere easily and I wanted to try living in USA someday too (T＿T)...

So I did come 10th Nov, 1 day before my visa expiration thinking I'll stay here for a month or so and come back, since I didn't have many expectations and really grew into the idea of staying in Poland. 

Do I regret not staying there now? NUH UH! I love it here~ Maybe it's cuz I didn't have high expectations that I like it here so much? Idk but I feel really good here. My shopoholist soul is in heaven and I'm constantly overstimulated (in a good way). What I love here the most is the architecture I think. I expected streets to be similiar to Seoul, but it's complitely different. The vibe here is just really nice.

As a classic foreigner, I of course fell in love with Don Quixote. It's a big Japanese market chain that has literally everything. Like, everything everything. I'm lucky enough to have Mega Donki not so far away and I can literally hang out there for 6 hours at night and not see even 1/3 of the products. I'm gonna make a post someday with pictures of some cool products!

Sanrio is like, everywhere. The main characters to find are of course Hello Kitty, My Melo, Kuromi, Cinnamoroll and Pompompurin but it's easy to spot character goods with Keroppi, Badtz-Maru, Cinnamoroll friends, Wish Me Mell, Pocchaco and the 2 characters with blue and pink hair. I need to admit I never watched any Sanrio anime but the characters are so cute and eye catching! If anyone's curious, here are my favorite Sanrio characters:

Sakura

Charmmy Kitty

Hummingmint

Mocha

The food here is really affordable! I was really suprised how cheap it is compared to Poland, and I thought Poland is cheap (well, not anymore due to crazy inflation...) After 12.30am at night, in my nearby market Tamade there's a discount on fish and meat and a plate of fresh salmon sushi costs 2 bucks! 

You can ask me questions or tell me what would you like me to talk about next!